The Power of Breaking Habits

Lately, it's been so easy for me to fall into the same patterns I always have. Over-eating, over-spending, over-analyzing. I'm less relaxed, less free, less creative. From what I hear, when we break our routines, we're more likely to free ourselves from our daily bonds. I hadn't really experienced this first hand until yesterday.

But before I get to that, about a year ago, I joined an amazing program called the Skinny Dip Society. During the 12-week immersion program, I learned how to alter my morning routines so I could start the day fresh and equipped to take on anything. From making my bed daily, to taking probiotics, to listening to a theme song, each new thing I added seemed to ground me even more. 

Unfortunately, I tend to rely heavily on those routines. They're great, but I'm less likely to mix things up. If I'm comfortable where I am, I'm not going to change it. I'm sure it's quite a common reoccurrence.

The issue lately is that I haven't been super comfortable. I've been uncomfortable. I keep looking at various things to change, but nothing seems to help. The problem isn't my environment. The problem lies in my perspective. And in order to change habits, you must change your perspective. At least I think that's how you do it...

This particular morning, I woke up immensly groggy. I had spent the night before crouched on the bathroom floor, waiting for my dinner to make an encore. It wasn't the food per-se, it was the fact that I had eaten way too much the day before. I was upset and stressed and I had been turning to the only cure I found useful in my darkened mind: snacking. 

Luckily, not only did I wake up in a sleepy haze, I woke with a lighter heart. I realized I had been carrying so much burden, that it was finally time to just take things easy. I planned on staying in my apartment futzing around (maybe putting stuff away or clearing out crap I no longer needed) while listening to a podcast. A typical morning, if I chose to stay in. 

Instead, my phone dinged. It was my friend Cristina. We met at work a few years ago, and couldn't stop conversing about God, spirituality, relationships, and reaching our highest potential. We can always sense when the other is out of alignment, and try everything in our power to help get them back on course.

"Do you want to go to a movie this morning?" She said. Sitting in a 2-hour movie that started at 9am wasn't really the morning I was aiming for, but I did want to spend time with her, so we agreed to grabbing breakfast in our neighborhood. 

I had pre-determined that I needed to consume more green-juice, so I suggested we hit up a new place that specialized in whipping up fruits and veggies into liquid form. It was just what the doctor ordered. I would do it every day if I could...

Then we strolled down the thoroughfare to another favorite coffee shop, where we swapped inspirational quotes and stories about our love life. We're both in the dating stage, in which we feel challenged (frustrated, yet determined) each and every day. We share ideas, philosophies, successes, and failures. She introduced me to relationship guru Alison Armstrong a couple years ago, who's work has changed both of our lives. (I couldn't recommend her work enough, however, you must be ready for a huge shift, because her way of thinking is completely different than most women's).

We then decided that I needed to get outside and do something creative and uplifting. Cristina suggested the Emeryville Marina, a quiet spot along the San Francisco Bay. It was a destination I had yet to visit, but we arrived in a flash, my 'real' camera in hand. She encouraged me to take some photos, knowing how much I love photography, and how much it brings me to life. 

The weather was unusually hot for the last day in January. Hardly a breeze, yet you could see for miles. It was, in my opinion, perfect. We strolled around the pier and snapped photos, met one of the sailors who lives in the marina, who delighted in showing how his dog, Scotty, could jump up and down from trash cans. We listened to a saxaphone player practicing against the rocks. We saw a seal popping it's head out from the water. We skipped, like school girls, laughing and completely out of breath, and were cheered on by walkers passing by. 

We broke our routine. 

We then found a somewhat-comfortable spot to sit amongst the pile of jagged rocks that ran along the water front, facing downtown San Francisco. The skyline was so immensly beautiful, that I needed  at least a few weeks to soak it all in. 

I longed to be across the water and in the city. The guy I had been recently dating lived there, and I could practically see his neighborhood from our spot on the rocks. I hadn't heard from him in what seemed like an eternity, so I was left assuming we were no longer going to see each other, which made this apparent separation even more acute. All I wanted was to be in the city with him. 

These feelings rushed through me as I sat there in the warm January sun. And then I realized that I was holding on too hard. I was clinging to old thoughts, old feelings, old needs. The 'aha' moment that I had there on those rocks hit me hard. I was longing for a relationship; a reason to love,  but I had to let go. I had to allow that bay to be where it was. I had to release the 'catch', and if it was meant to be, it would come back, but if not, then something greater will. 

I had to trust. 

The blessing of that moment in the marina was quite apparent. Had it not been for Cristina's determination to get me out of the house and out of my funk, I would have never ended up there. I wouldn't have taken photos, I wouldn't have skipped like a 7 year old (which by the way, is impossible to do and stay miserable at the same time), I wouldn't have had a green juice instead of coffee, and I wouldn't have looked out across that water and realized that I had to let go. 

Breaking habits, at least for me - on that morning, unlocked so much. Having made that realization, I was able to go through the rest of the day without the heavy burden of rejection. I could feel the bruise that it had left behind, but I no longer felt the weight. 

Or maybe I was just sore from all that skipping...

Here are some of the photos I captured during our visit:

All photos Copyright ® 2015 by Samantha Samuels

You Are Your Greatest Asset

What you believe to be your greatest setback, is actually your greatest asset. 

Let me explain. 

Say you're an aspiring animator, but you just can't seem to break through and land your dream job. You've been working in retail for the past 10 years selling clothing. You think that the reason why companies aren't hiring you is because of your lack of animation experience. But the reason why they're not hiring you, is because you're not selling your greatest asset. The fact that you worked in retail for 10 years. 

Think about it. You've worked close to 20,000 hours around people. You probably know the ins and outs of every single personality known to man. You've dealt with every conceivable situation in which you were having to make someone else happy. You probably have more stories to tell than your great uncle Joe. You have experience. You have perspective. You have wisdom.

Your ability to draw on those experiences is what sets you apart from the rest. It's not your greatest weakness, it's your greatest ally. So use it. Embrace it. Cherish it. And honor it. 

I wanted to get a job as a hostess at my favorite mexican restaurant in Las Vegas. I had absolutely NO restaurant experience, and the lady interviewing me made a point of bringing that to my attention. "Yes", I told her. "You're right, but I can assure (and promise) you that the experience I've had working with people in my other retail jobs has provided me with everything I need to succeed."

I got the job. 

I ended up hating the job, and left shortly after, but I did it well. I was right. My experiences did prepare me for something completely new. I could have let go of that dream, agreeing with her that I wasn't capable because I had no prior 'experience'. But I believed in myself so strongly that even she was convinced. 

You must do the same with any job or career you choose to work towards. Your experiences, your knowledge, your wisdom, and your perspective are all the preparation you need. Now, of course, you may need to go to medical school or rocket science school if you want to become a doctor or an astrophysicist. I get that. But don't hold yourself back from chasing those dreams simply because you never studied math or science in the past. If that's what you truly want, use your experiences as the foundation - the fuel - to propel you toward your goal.

You are uniquely you. Don't be ashamed of the choices you made in the past. They shaped into who you are today. Pardon me for the cliché message, but it's true. You know it. So let it guide you. Let it be a part of you. And don't be afraid to share it with the world. You are your greatest asset.

The Importance of Self Preservation

It's kind of an odd phrase: self-preservation. It's an interesting concept. Preserving the self. What does that even mean? 

I like to think of the self as the part of us that is aware. The conciousness of our every-day. Our soul. 

So let's rephrase this: soul-preservation. Preserving the soul. But the soul is boundless, limitless, eternal. It doesn't need preservation, right? It should be able to function just fine on its own. But who are we when we lose connection with our deepest, truest selves? When we feel life-less, soul-less, uninspired, and minute, what has caused that? What brings us back into balance - back into life? 

The re-alignment with our soul. Our spirit. Our true self. 

So the preservation is really the acknowledgement and re-association with our self. It's the reminder that it exists. That if it isn't honored or considered, we become deadened. So how do we become 'whole' again? And why is it important to do so?

Well, I think we've all experienced what it feels like to live out of alignment. And while it may seem like an obvious thing to make adjustments, sometimes we go so long living out of whack, that we start to believe that the pain we're feeling is completely normal. We don't even think we need to be fixed, until it's too late. Once we start making mistakes (and no one area of our life is safe - they're all effected), that's we recognize that something is wrong, and maybe we decide to  take action. Or at least we should. 

Think about the ways in which you take care of yourself. What does that look like? What does that even mean? When you're unhappy or depressed, what's the one thing you wish you could do? What do you long for? What do you crave?

For me, I crave familiarity. Sometimes I feel out of alignment if I'm trying too many new things. I need to maintain some sort of comfort and reassurance, which are impossible to feel in the areas I'm stretching. I crave going to my favorite places, eating my favorite foods, reading my favorite books, watching my favorite shows, and spending time with my favorite people. All of those things help to recharge my batteries. Especially since my day-to-day can be so unpredictable. 

Now, that doesn't mean we can't leave room for a little spontinaety. It's just as critical to explore and discover new things as it is to revisit our familiar things. Our favorite things remind us of who we are, while being open to new experiences can help us to feel youthful again. Don't you always feel charged after experiencing something for the first time? It's like you're a kid again, when everything is new and exciting! 

Regardless of what you do for self-preservation, do it. Make sure it's a part of your life. Your every day. Your routine. Make taking care of you is the number one priority in your life. I'm not a parent, and I can imagine how hard it is to think about putting yourself first with your children and spouse's needs un-met, but think about your parents. Wouldn't you rather see them happy and grounded in themselves? Do you think their happiness and groundedness would have helped them be better parents? Something to think about. 

Anway, your happiness is up to you. You are the only one who is going to spend as much time as you focusing on that. So get connected with the things that make you come alive. They are going to be unique to you, so stop what you're doing, take a deep breath, and ask yourself these questions:

• If there was anything you could be doing right now, what would it be?
• If you could be anywhere, where would you be?
• If you could eat anything, what would it be?
• If you could spend time with anyone, who would it be?

If you could make the choices about where you are in your life, would you?

The Fear of Creative Success

Lately I've been feeling overwhelmed by my lack of creative output. I'm not sure if it's because of exhaustion due to my day job, or if it stems from an even deeper level. I know what I am capable of. But do I, really? Is my lack of production simply out of fear of what might come of it? What if I create something that the world absolutely adores? What if it changes people's lives for the better? What if it doesn't? What if it's a total flop, and I just wasted precious hours on something that didn't even make an impact? But what if it did? Will I then have to own up to the creative power and responsibility required to maintain credibility? What if I'm a one-hit wonder? What if I'm just not knowledgable enough in my area of expertise? Who am I to even be the expert? Where is all this self doubt even coming from? Who am I even comparing myself to?

The truth is, there will always be someone better, more skilled, with more experience than us. And there will always be someone with less experience and skill than us. What drives me is not competition, but rather a deep knowing that I, too, am capable of such great things. But the problem is, we quickly forget that even the greatest (and weakest) artists started somewhere. Whether they are impactful or not, they started. The feared not of their abilities, but embraced them. They saw something in themselves that couldn't not be shared with the world. Whatever their message, the drive to see it through overpowered the debilitating thoughts of shame and scarcity.

As I open myself up to the possibility of a creativity-filled existence, I will pay close attention to how it makes me feel. If I'm scared, it's probably the right decision.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

An Attitude of Gratitude

Good morning, world.

Today I'd like to talk about gratitude. it's a mindset that I've been missing out on a lot lately. Not necessarily gratitude in the sense of writing someone a thank you card, although I could do that a bit more, too. It's about slowing down and savoring what is right now; the present moment.

Over the past few days, I've been battling a sinus infection, which has kept me at home. A semi-workaholic, it was hard for me to accept the fact that I was stuck in my studio apartment without any real energy to do anything other than sleep, binge watch Season 3 of New Girl and peruse social media sites. But separating myself from the daily stresses of work allowed me to stop and just be. These were the first weekdays I spent in my new place, and for some reason, being sick at home made me connect with my surroundings more. I spent more time than usual in my kitchen, from preparing healthy meals to not-so-glamorously rinsing out my sinuses over the kitchen sink. It was normally a space that I felt awkward being in, but this experience shifted something. I felt as though my apartment was taking care of me, and it made me appreciate it so much more. In fact, I love it now. 

It has taken me a while to get used to my new neighborhood. I had moved from a very cozy town to an area that leaves a lot of room to be desired. But it's still beautiful in its own way. And I got to really notice that while I was at home. I feel truly blessed and grateful to have a place I can call my own, a place that I have taken for granted, but is truly taking care of me.

So, this leaves me thinking about the other areas in my life that I may have taken for granted. Clearly, the day-to-day grind of my day job can has worn on me, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Because of the passion and dedication required to make things run, it's an easy environment in which to get burned out, and I had come close. I believe my body became ill, simply so that I would spend some time away, not only to recharge, but to regain some perspective and clarity. The outpour of warmth and care from my colleagues was far more than I ever imagined. It made me realize that we truly are family, and they're the reason why I put my best foot forward every day. It's too easy to get caught up in the work, and forget about the WHY behind what we do every day. For me, it's to serve people. It's to make their days better, whether through entertainment, appreciation, support, or encouragement. That's what makes me come to life, and I had forgotten that. I am eternally grateful for their friendship, trust, generosity, and support. And I can't wait to get back to work and continue making movies with them. 

Being sick also forces us into the present moment. No one wants to be sick, and we try everything in our power to get well again. I have a tendency to take that to the extreme, however. I buy just about everything on the shelves of Whole Foods, in hopes of finding some sort of relief. I overload my body with vitamins, antioxidants and immunce support supplements in order to move things along. But the truth of the matter is, the body moves at its own pace. Yes, we can help it along by providing it with support, but in the end, it's up to our body. We have to sit and wait. And wait. And wait. As an incredibly impatient person, this is impossible for me. But I don't have a choice. I have to stop. I have to hand over the reins to the universal intelligence that's at work. I have to trust in my body's ability to heal itself. That's a key word: trust. 

TRUST AND GRATITUDE. Trust is the acceptance of where we are right now, knowing deep down that it's exactly where we're supposed to be. Trust, in a way, is surrendering to the present moment. Trust is knowing that there's something else in control. Call it God, the universe, energy, whatever. Trust is relinquishing our control over whatever situation we're in. This is also very hard for me. I, like most people, like to be in control. But that's the opposite of trust. Control over my body is impossible. Trust in my body creates endless possibilities. Trust in anything allows us to take a back seat, and simply watch the trees go by. It allows us to slow down, and be grateful for what we have in our lives. For our present situation. For all that we have now, and all that will be provided for us as time passes. Trust creates a warm and fuzzy feeling, like a cozy blanket in which to curl up in. 

THE PRESENT MOMENT AND GRATITUDE. When we really stop and experience our present moment - not replaying the past or visualizing the future, but being here and now - focusing on each sound, smell, sight, texture, and taste, we can't help but be grateful. If the present moment is all we ever have, then why not stop and appreciate it? This is the only time I'll be sitting down in front of my laptop writing this very blog entry. Why not savor each and every word? If this is the only time I have to enjoy and appreciate it, then why not? This moment will pass, but there's no telling of what's to come. So be grateful for what is happening now. And be present with it. 

Over the next few weeks, as the holidays roll in and out, it will feel like a whirlwind. Family gatherings, parties with friends, and other social obligations will come and go. I've gotten to the point where I look forward to the holidays being over so I can get back to my routine. What's the fun in that? (I literally laughed out loud to myself when I wrote that, but it's true!) The holidays used to be my most favorite time of the year. From the decorations, to the music, to the food and festivities, I never wanted it to end. But I've since gotten so caught up in the cost and the energy required to do such activities, that I lost sight of why we do them, and what joy they bring. So, this year, I plan on approaching the season a little differently. Each and every moment I want to savor, like a thick, sweet cup of hot chocolate on a cold winter's eve. The holidays bring with them so many wonderful moments in which to indulge in the senses. And I want to stop and appreciate all of them. And it starts with being present and grateful NOW.

I've started writing in a gratitude journal, filling out a page of 'thank you's' each night before I turn out the light. Not only does it help me reflect on the day, but it keeps my gratitude in check. It reminds me of just how great I have it, as well as inspire certain things I want to pray about. It reminds me that there's a higher power at work, and it's ready and eager to provide me with whatever I want (as long as it aligns with what I truly need). All it wants in return is acknowledgement and gratitude.

So, in the spirit of gratefulness, thank you taking the time to come across my blog reading this post. I am blessed to have a platform in which to share my experiences, thoughts, and opinions, in hopes of making your life better, too.

Here's to cultivating an attitude of gratitude.

Cheers!

-Sam

And if you really need to get inspired, grab your Kleenex and watch this:

The Science of Happiness - An Experiment in Gratitude.

A Platform for Creativity

When I first learned how to add some beads to a wire and turn it into an earring, I was hooked. My aunt had been making beaded jewelry for a while, and I wanted to learn. So she taught me how to do it. It was fairly easy to do, as long as you had the right tools. I remember purchasing beads by the handful - whether they were that great or not. I just wanted to create as many as I could. I would scatter the beads out across the oversized counter of my mom's kitchen, and start making my selections.

My early works were pretty ugly. But at the time, I thought they were beautiful. And while the product of my creation would soon be replaced by better-looking results, it was the process that was clearly extraordinary. The possibilities were endless, and all I had to do was pick a bead and go.

Creating earrings from scratch was an incredibly easy and satisfying hobby. I just needed a lot of counterspace, but I could churn out dozens in one session. I would listen to my favorite Podcast, or watch my favorite TV show while making them, so it was never boring. I just kept going and going. My fingernails were usually trashed by the time I was done, but I didn't care. I was never one for keeping nail polish on for very long, anyway, as I grew up with horses and was always using my hands for something.

I've lost count of how many earrings I've made, but I do know this. Each and every pair I made was one of a kind. I maybe made a duplicate here or there after someone complimented me on a pair that I was wearing, or asked if they could have the same version. But I've only done that a couple of times. Duplicating designs isn't very exciting or rewarding for me. Yes, I could churn out several of the same design in order to have more available for customers, but just like the women wearing them, each one is unique, and brings with it its own personality and life.

But it's not about the earrings, it's what they represent.

My first job was in retail. I was 19 years old, transitioning between freshman and sophomore year of college at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. I was also making the transition between studying performing arts to studying cinematic arts. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, I just knew I wanted to make a name for myself somehow. Making films sounded like fun, so that's where I was headed. But I was also pretty good with people. One day, when I was strolling through our local mall, I stumbled upon a store that featured western wear from my favorite designer. I walked in and asked for a job, and I've been in customer service ever since.

I'm currently working in the film industry, helping make some of the world's greatest movies. It's a dream come true. But there's a part of me that loves creating things that I can share with an audience. I crave customer interaction, and by creating and selling my earrings, I can still satisfy that need.

Over the past few years, I've creating more and more earrings. I opened up an etsy shop called The Daily Pair: Earrings for Every Occasion, where I feature my one-of-a-kind designs. I have to admit, I haven't done a whole lot in the way of marketing or promoting my work online. It sole purpose has been a place where I can send interested prospects, but I have yet to take full advantage of what the online portal has to offer.

I've also sold in a handful of craft fairs that are sponsored by the studio where I work. They've provided an excellent opportunity to test out displays, pricing, accepting different forms of payment, sales, and more. It's given my work excellent exposure. Because of selling them to colleagues during the craft fairs, it's no longer surprising to me when I see at least one other person wearing one of my pairs on a daily basis. It's exhilarating! And it encourages me to keep on creating.

The earrings represent the act of creation. Of seeing what ingredients I have to work with, and making something from scratch. It's seeing all the possibilities, and going with my gut. Choosing based on texture, design, color, and size allows me to think outside the box. And it's one of the hobbies that I've taken up, that I've actually kept up. A lot of things I claim to do, and then I taper off after 5 minutes. Earrings provide a different experience for me. I don't know what it is, but I can't help but make them, and make lots of them.

So, through this process of making, selling, promoting, wearing, and sharing, I've learned so much about myself, as well as what it takes to run a creative business. If it weren't for these earrings, I would never have opened an etsy shop, read books about selling crafts, learned about pricing products, marketing, and more. But the exciting part is, I'm still learning on a daily basis. There is so much more to learn and gain from this experience. I want to learn how to take better product photos, how to do stop-motion promotional videos, how to create using more raw or recycled materials, how to curate what I share through my blog and my social media apps. Creating earrings is a platform for so many other experiences.

Even though there are several other interests and skills that make me who I am, using earrings (and all that encompass them) as the focus for my online exposure, I feel like I'll actually be able to express more of what makes me, me. I'm thrilled to try this out, and share with you, my audience, my experiences, challenges, ideas, lessons, and skills, in hopes to inspire you. It certainly inspires me.

Creative Inspiration

After several months on a blogging hiatus, I've decided it's time to get back on the ol' horse. But what to write about? Up comes the age-old dilemma. What's inspiring to me? And where can I find it? 

All I can say, is thank God for the internet. Actually, that statement is questionable, but what I have discovered with sites such as Pinterest (and even Instagram, on occasion), is that they help me get out of a creative rut. A rut that I've been in for several months. 

There are plenty of things that strike my fancy. Interior design, fashion, food styling, hand lettering (a new favorite), photography, art, and more, but how does one focus this inspiration enough to channel it into actual production of work? At what point does the inspiration turn into something tangible and real? 

I guess that's where I come in... 

But what is it that I'm holding back from? Is it the lack of inspiration? Well, no. There's plenty of that to go around. Is it the lack of motivation or discipline? Not really. Could it be that I just don't know where to start, and that all of the inspiration and reference I've gathered over the months has become too overwhelming? Bingo. I'm looking at work that took years to perfect, and I expect my creations to look the same. And that just isn't realistic, or achievable!

Knowing this, then what? What is it that I truly want to project onto the world? What story am I trying to tell here? Why is it that I want to share my thoughts and feelings and creativity with complete strangers?

I think it all boils down to the need to fit in. The need to have a voice, and share the struggles that I face, in hopes of inspiring someone else. Or at least to be heard. To be acknowledged. To be respected as an artist and a person. 

That being said, I'm also doing this for me. For an opportunity to open myself up creatively. To express my ideas, my passions, and my art - even though I'm still discovering what those even are. 

As a girl who grew up in the suburbs, with horses, I always had an outlet to recharge. I spent a lot of time outside, cleaning stalls, sorting flakes of hay, grooming, and riding. I didn't have time to sit in front of a computer and explore the lives that other people were living. It just wasn't an option. I had to focus on my own agendas. My own dreams. Anything and everything seemed possible. I was incredibly courageous, because I knew myself very well. 

As time went on, and the pressures of the world started to take hold, there was a part of me that remained unshakable: my ability to dream. Nowadays, my horse lives several hours away, my boots don't get used quite as much as they used to, and the courage and determination that came from the years of maintaining a ranch have slowly started to fade away. Which is why it's so crucial for me to reconnect with my inner cowgirl. In both a literal and figurative sense.

This month, I'll be moving from the suburbs to more of a urban setting. One way to hold onto that part of my sense of self is to explore it creatively. That's where this blog comes in. 

Like getting up early to feed the horses and clean the stalls, I intend to write on a much more consistent basis. I may incorporate some photography or art projects that seem to fit this new brand, but it will mostly be a place where I can come and reconnect with myself. 

The Urban Cowgirl. 

xo

Sam